You are a loser and you will die alone

This is something I've been thinking about since I was a teenager. My biggest desire was to "have a girlfriend" because cool guys have girlfriends.

I am writing this post for all of you who are currently single and feeling miserable on Valentine's Day. Because you disgustedly skip over the selfies of smiling couples. Because you are already annoyed by all the commercials. You would like to give or receive the red heart-shaped chocolate box to someone.

Because you would like to hug someone and tell them from the bottom of your heart and hear: "I love you."

Because you don't want to be alone.

In my twenties, I wanted to "have a girlfriend" because I felt terribly lonely. When I had my first serious relationship, I was terrified that if my girlfriend broke up with me, I would be a total loser.

That I'm worthless.

That nobody loves me.

That I will die alone.

When she actually broke up with me later, I felt like everything had lost its meaning for me. Everything was for nothing. I felt like the biggest idiot because everyone around me had serious relationships. Some were planning, or even starting to have children, while I was playing computer games in the evenings.

These happy people had everything clear, loving, and reasonable.

Only I was still alone and felt miserable.

My biggest desire was to change that.

My self-worth was absolutely connected to this belief.

You are alone = You are a loser.

You are in a relationship = You are good.

I would love to say that by the time I met my current wife, I had everything figured out. That I was on the path of a conscious man.

Not at all.

I still had the same ideas, fears and pains. Fortunately, I managed to make my dear wife laugh regularly, so she agreed to start dating me.

I would love to say that when we got married and had a daughter, I grew up and became a sensible man.

Far from it.

To be honest, I was still insecure and behaved like an idiot. But because I have more luck than sense in life, my wife didn't divorce me after all.

I would like to say that I have everything figured out now.

I don't.

But I'm on my way. I have the tools to work on myself.

I am perfect in my imperfection.

Today I know one thing for sure: I have value even if I were alone. My wife or any relationship will not save me. I am the only one responsible for my own happiness. I know it's a cliché, but that doesn't mean it's not true.

If you are feeling miserable today, know that you are never alone. You are wonderful and unique, even if you are not in a relationship. You have value even if you are alone.

You have yourself. And I bet you will always find someone who loves you. I love you for example. There will always be someone who is glad that you were born.

Maybe today is the right time to say to yourself: "I love you. I love you. We are together and we can do it together."

I wish us all a life full of joy, energy and love. Have a nice Valentine's Day everyone.


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